9 Years Later...

Almost nine years since my last post.
I'm still here.

Having suffered through severe depression and moderate anxiety, I have struggled to maintain myself and my existence.
Having been alone for the past twelve years, I have realized that I'm the happiest I've ever been. The holidays are a bit rough, but they just become another day of the year.
Having been financially crippled by my education loans has prevented me from having my own house. Get a higher education they say. You'll make more money they say. What they don't say is that you'll be in deep financial ruin for fifteen years or more.
But I still exist. It's not the life I've dreamed of, nor is it the American Dream I've grown up hearing about, but I'm still here paying my taxes like a good little drone.
The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.
Maybe you'll hear from me in another nine years or so.
Who knows...

The Descent Into Congress

I can only image that there is a level in Dante's Inferno that is reserved for members of the U.S. Congress. I would further imagine that Lucifer himself is disgusted by them.

How can such a circus ever hope to accomplish anything good for the citizens that elected them to their office? Republicans bullying Democrats like puerile schoolyard punks, Democrats picking on Republicans like a bunch of malicious juvenile thugs. And this is the so-called leadership of our country?

This country, still one of the best in the world, is sinking rapidly. The infrastructure of the country, of states, and individual cities is crumbling. Decay is spreading everywhere, people all over are suffering tremendous losses of available resources, accumulated assets, and family values.

The current administration is nothing more than a collection of impotent jesters prancing about spewing vile rhetoric and inane double-talk while stuffing their coffers full of riches borne upon the back of the dying middle class.

Who will be the one to step up and take this country by the horns and whip it back into its former glory? Is there anyone that can even try to? Is it even possible any more?

V is for Valentines

Valentine's Day - a day for friends, lovers, and wannabes. At least for most of us. There are those few, however, that resent this day that only serves as a reminder of loves failed and foundered. Like a pointed stick in the eye, these few standouts hold fast to the lingering pain that has become so familiar to them that they now could not part with it for fear of becoming completely alone.

It is sad, really, to see such people shuffle along through life clutching onto such unrelenting bitter memories that color their world a malevolent shade of cold. There is just too much in live left to experience to let something so trivial and insignificant as a crashed and burned attempt at love.

There are other fish in the sea, as it has been said (trillions of times undoubtedly). Let go of the tarnished and rusting blade protruding from your heart, release your grasp of its relentless hold on you, turn off the endless loop of life playing over and over again in your mind. It is all for naught. It has no redeeming value. It won't help you in any endeavor you attempt. It is wasted and futile time spent clinging to nothing. Let. It. Go.

Life is too short to waste it; you can never make up for lost time. You can only spend the time you have in the best ways imaginable. Forget the past and embrace the future. V is for Victory.

Another Year Gone By - Another New Year to Try

Ahh, yes. January in Florida. Nothing like it anywhere else. Period.
So 2010 is over and 2011 has just begun. A brand new year full of hopes, dreams, and opportunities.

The economy is keeping everyone from reaching their full potential, but we can still think about it. At least thinking isn't being taxed (yet).

We all must be strong to survive this horrendous economy. We will be stronger for it. Heaven help the politicians come Nov. 2012...

Merry Christmas

As bad as things are in the current economic maelstrom, I am bound and determined not to let the greed of government and corporate incompetence corrode, spoil, or otherwise ruin my favorite time of the year.

Christmas is a special time and has always been my favorite holiday. I literally feel like I am floating inches off of the ground during this time of year. I cannot help but to smile and feel great just soaking in all of the wonderfully good feelings and good cheer.

And so I wish to everyone, with my deepest, heart-felt joy and love, a most profound, benevolent, and blessed, very,
Merry Christmas!

Status Quo in Congress

With the elections over and the lame ducks flapping about noisily in congress, we see how the professional liars, thieves, and swindlers are supporting their constituents; by filling their pockets, making their own lives more comfortable, and making sure that their wealthy cronies are getting the same.

The rich get richer and the rest of America gets poorer by the acts of Congress. The political system in the United States of America is broken. The rule of the two party system no longer servers the citizens of this country but only the members of congress, their political action committees, and the lobbyists that connive and grease the palms of those who would fill the coffers of their masters. This is what the corrupt political system of America has become. I am ashamed of what our government has become.

I love this country and the tenets that our founding fathers have laid down before us to make this great country what it was. It is no longer that way. The rich control the greedy politicians and it becomes a vicious circle with the good, God-loving Americans having to pay for their narcissism. Elections are a joke having to choose a lesser of two evils and, ultimately, not making any change for improvements at all.

I don't have the answer and apparently no one else does either. But I do know that something must be done and soon. The United State of America is losing or has already lost its leadership role in a vast majority of areas where we once did. This country is caving in under the weight of the incompetence, greed, and indifference of its leadership (if you can actually call it leadership) and worst of all, it isn't even the fault of the President. It is the House of Representatives and the Senate which is causing the decay of the political system and the increasingly corrosive sentiment toward American government.

Big corporations are freely raping the citizens of this country while the government bails them out with the tax dollars of hard-working Americans. The obscene paychecks and bonuses of the swine on Wall Street is beyond deplorable yet the cowards in Washington turn a blind eye. The oil and gas barons devour the environment belching out toxins into the atmosphere, the water, and the soil in every corner of the globe - but the cowards in Washington continue to suckle their teats. And when the homeless, and the elderly, and the unemployed have been pushed to the brink of living or dying, the cowards in Washington deny financial aid and vote themselves a raise and a raft of perks.

This is what I see going on in the Capital of our Nation. This is what I see happening from our elected officials sworn to uphold the Constitution of the United States of America. This is what I see tearing apart this country and demeaning its citizens. This is what I see killing America.

And I am ashamed.

Giving Thanks for Everything

Well, the Holiday Season is upon us and it's that time of year to step back and think about all that we should be grateful for. Ideally, we should do this every day of our lives, not just on one day of the year! However, it isn't a perfect world and we must play with the cards as they are dealt to us.

It is extraordinarily difficult to forge your own destiny in the modern world; it seems there is always some one who would try to quash your dreams and aspirations, for whatever reason. It is the single, most definable obstacle that must be overcome to truly succeed in life.

All struggles and epic variables aside, I am most thankful for the family and friends that have introduced, guided, and supported the various concepts and ideals with which I strive to live by. I deeply appreciate and am greatly thankful for the relationships that I maintain with each and every one of them. Without them, I am nothing but another lost soul.

Thank you.

Rambling Head-first Toward the Future

Despite the economy's best attempt to squelch my existence, I am rambling forward head-first toward the future. I have several engineering project that keep me busy and I devote my time to completing them.

Having realized that, at this time of year, businesses are doing little, if any, hiring at all and my best bet is to hold tight and wait until the new year. That isn't stopping me from performing my job search as required by the State Department of Unemployment, but there is weak hope of finding employment at this particular point in time.

As the recession has ended and the economy weakens further, it seems that all congress can do is bicker and whine and fill their pockets with the money from the middle class tax payers. This must all change next month when election time rolls around.

And Just When You Least Expect it...

The company I am working for just informed me that they have eliminated my position and I am now unemployed.

Talk about the world coming to a screeching halt. This could not have come at a worse time - with the economy going into a double dip recession, employment is anemic all over the country, the housing market is still sinking deeper into the muck, and I am now floating helplessly in a sea of despair, frustration, and anxiety.

This just goes to show you that you cannot depend on ANYONE for a livelihood except yourself.

I am quite uncertain of what the near future holds for me, but it is not looking good and there are ominous storm clouds on the horizon.

Wish me luck everyone, I'm not sure I'm going to make it through this one...

...I Gotta Wear Shades

The future is so bright...

Things are going very well for me at this time. I am putting the final touches on my new CD 'rhythMatrix': the album artwork is done and I am in the process of wrapping up the final mix before having it mastered for production.

The weather has been great and I am enjoying the overabundance of sunshine in my life and overhead (they DO call Florida the Sunshine State after all).

It is looking like I will be releasing the CD on September 3rd along with two singles from it, Thunder Road and DreamLight. I will be making a special announcement around that time.

New CD Release Coming Soon

I am happy to announce that I will be releasing a new CD titled 'rhythMatrix' in the next month or so.

My first CD, 'Rebirth', took me approximately 6 months to complete. This new CD took me nearly 5 years to finish due to economic strangulation, a move to a new state, a divorce, and completing my Bachelor of Science degree.

Don't you just hate it when life gets in the way of the really fun stuff?

Anyway, rhythMatrix is more of a techno/trance/dance album with a bit of spacey chill-out thrown in for good measure.

Stay tuned for further details.

Active Hurricane Season Predicted

Meteorologists at the National Hurricane Center in Miami, Florida are predicting another active hurricane season this year.

Living in southwest Florida, I tend to keep a watchful eye on the developments in the Atlantic coast of Africa where most hurricanes are born.

Last year forecasters predicted a busy hurricane season, but it was relatively calm compared to previous years. So we will just have to wait and see.