Adventures of the Webmaster - Episode XXXIV
Don't Attempt This At Home, I Am A Professional
Our intrepid webmaster is found hard at work in front of his system pounding out code at a phrenetic pace. The fingers fly faster and faster as they danced their way across his keyboard. His hands look like a blur as images and text appeared on the warmly glowing monitor before him.
Soon, he was finished and celebrated the moment with a well deserved sigh of satisfaction. He was content with the final results; all the images were crisp and clean, the text nearly shouted out his Internet message. Navigation was logical and straight forward, links were all live and ready, he had created his latest masterpiece.
"Now for the ultimate test" he thought to himself. He slowly turned, as if in a bad B movie flashback, and uttered the words that would soon cause panic in the streets, animals to scatter, plants to whither and die, make children have nightmares well into their adult lives, and form skin lesions on anyone within sonic range.
"Honey, could you please come here and tell me what you think of my latest Website?"
Instantly small lakes dried up, the Earth trembled, and the skies were made to look like blood...
(Okay, so I'm eggagerating a l i t t l e bit...)
The wife comes over and looks at the monitor. Nothing. No words, no sound, just viscious silence. Then came the terrible, awful, sinister laughter coming from behind him.
As his blood drained from his head to his feet, he looked at the screen and closed his eyes. Harsh reality doesn't care about trampled pride, nor does it consider the repercusions of it's seemingly indifferent actions.
Okay, the navigation was perfect, but the intent was quite convoluted. The newsletter signup was simple, but wasn't pronounced enough. But the real kick in the pants was that no one could tell the purpose of his Website within 8 seconds. The death knell hath rung.
"What does she know about Website design" he consoled himself. Under the skin, though, he knew she was right. Damn, how he hates when she's right.
So our intrepid Webmaster began rewriting the code and researching the latest Web techniques for direction and guidance.
Stay tuned for another exciting episode of...
Adventures of the Webmaster
